October News

October is a month of spiritual warfare in America. People with spiritual insight should be able to see that. Although "the enemy" doesn't really ever seem to let up much, the month of October is rife with stuff glorifying evil and the occult, giving him a foothold that he otherwise often has to fight for. Even though many Christians view Halloween and its "celebrations" as harmless and in good fun, the focus that is directed to the things that belong to our God's enemy, intentional or not, draws attention to satan (lower case "s" intentional) and away from God.

Our daughters have especially noticed lately this spiritual warfare that the Bible talks about. We fight against an enemy who doesn't play fair, who kicks us when we're down, who wants more than anything to keep us in a defeated mode. As we grow in our walk with God, we learn from His Word and the exercise of it how to wage this war against foes we cannot see but know they are real. The Bible is full of strategies for winning, but these strategies must be employed by us in order to survive. The enemy seeks to kill and destroy us. We must be protected by the full armor of God and use the Sword of the Spirit (the Word of God) and prayer as offensive weapons (Galatians 6:10-18). We fail so often, coming away wounded and discouraged, because we fail to do it God's way. I know that in my own life, far too often I think I can handle it myself, and I end up getting whipped when I know better. These things ought not to be.

We were blessed with an opportunity for a weekend in Ruidoso. Helen and I both felt that we and our girls needed some time away, time to relax and focus on God. He worked out the details for us, and we had our own "spiritual retreat." We were able to talk about the warfare we have been experiencing and share and bear with each other. It was such a great experience for all of us. Each of us prepared a devotional to share as some point during the weekend. Helen and I are really blessed by the growth we see in our daughters.

And speaking of bears... we went out bear hunting (in the car) one night and were rewarded with not only one, but three of them--a large black mother bear and two surprisingly large cubs. We watched with eyes and mouths wide opened as they all three climbed into a large garbage dumpster and disappeared inside. Imagine walking up to a dumpster with a bag of trash and--well, you get the picture. I don't know why the girls were scared to take out the trash after that... Anyway, the getaway was just what we needed, and we returned home refreshed and blessed.

Now, about our latest trip to San Antonio. I was fortunate to have my co-pilot back this time. We actually drove through some rain on the way down. Nice!! Monday morning would begin another long day at CTRC: CT scans right off the bat. First in sixteen weeks. Haven't gone that long between scans for over four years. Waiting. Triage. Bloodwork. Waiting. Examination. Waiting. Finally meeting our new doctor. Looking at scan images. Waiting. EKG. Waiting. Waiting some more. Getting drug supply for four weeks. The End. It was a good day at the clinic. We met Dr. Brenner, the doctor temporarily taking over for Dr. Mita, for the first time. Most of the time he spent with us, he was looking over my scans. He had a difficult time finding the masses that Dr. Mita had been measuring. When he finally arrived at a conclusion about which images to measure, he said that he thought they looked more like blood vessels than anything else. Of course, Dr. Mita has been reading my scans for the past 4 1/2 years, and this was his first time to see them. Anyway, there were no changes and no new masses to be found. We are thankful!

A little over a year ago, a group of sarcoma patients, along with a couple of CTRC staff, started a support group for sarcoma patients in the San Antonio area. We had been interested in attending one of the monthly meetings, but because of scheduling dates and work schedules had not been able to. We were blessed to make the October meeting. There were eight sarcoma survivors present, as well as several caregivers/family members and clinic staff. Our friends from San Antonio, Bernie and Laurie, have been active members of this group, and they were also there. Among the survivors, there was one very recently diagnosed, two or three who were several years post-disease, and several of us at various points in between. Every single person shared at least a brief statement or two about how the disease has touched their life. One of the survivors read two poems she had written while in the midst of the fight. There were no dry eyes in the room when she finished. The subjects of faith and God's will were talked about freely. We were both uplifted and blessed to make new friends and share in each other's battles. We look forward to going again in the future, God willing.

On a sad note: a good friend and brother, the senior deacon in our church, passed away today following a heart attack last week. We are saddened by our loss and for his family and friends but are confident that we will be reunited with him one day. Charles is in heaven and wouldn't come back if he could. Death is a reality we all must face, but not without hope. Charles lived and died with assurance of eternal life in heaven. We all can have that same assurance through faith in Jesus Christ (see my post entitled "The Price Has Been Paid"). He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

Love and Blessings!

Kenny

LDE225 C30D1

Satellite radio pretty much saved the day for me on this trip to San Antonio.

Out of somewhere in the neighborhood of 140 trips, I have enjoyed the company of my best friend on all but two of them. Of the other two, one of our daughters accompanied me on one, and on the other I went solo. The first thirty or forty times we made the 300-mile drive, we both would stay awake and enjoy the drive, switching out behind the wheel a time or two. But after trying every different route possible and memorizing every bend in the highway and driving in every kind of weather, one of us now usually sleeps while the other one is driving, though we still share the driving chores. Having company on all of these trips has been an incredible blessing for me!

Helen began to feel pretty badly a few days before our appointment date, and by time to leave, she still wasn't feeling very well. We made the decision for her to stay home and try to get well. So for the first time in several years, I went without her. I have said that we have made the trip so many times that our car could do it by itself. But I really wasn't willing to try it out this time.

I began the drive by listening to a sports channel, but before long it became monotonous. So I started switching between music from the 60's and the 70's. I heard songs I hadn't heard in probably thirty years, and I was able to easily stay awake and alert by playing my version of "Name That Tune." I find it funny that I can't even hardly remember what I did two days ago, but I was right on about 90% of the names and artists from four and five decades ago... A mind is a terrible thing to waste...:)

I found out that my sister- and brother-in-law must really love me, because they allowed me to stay in their home even though Helen wasn't with me. Who knew? But, seriously, it is not lost on us how richly blessed we are and have been by them over these years. We have felt so at home there in their home that when I introduce them to people who don't know them, I say that they are the couple that lives in our home in San Antonio. And Janis keeps telling me that she is claiming us on their income taxes as dependents.

Anyway, my day at the clinic was quick and mostly painless, but quite different without Helen. They did have to get more hair follicle samples, taken from my chest. Not too painful. No other new developments, nothing much out of the ordinary. No scans scheduled until next visit, so it was pretty routine (Praise the Lord!). I still did not meet my new doctor, but that should happen next time when scans are done.

Having four weeks at home between visits is really nice. We are enjoying having more time at home. God is so good to us!

The Price Has Been Paid

Being a cancer survivor sometimes affords one unique opportunities. I have often said that every cancer survivor has a story; if you want to hear it, just ask him or her. A few weeks ago, I was asked to share some of my story with the senior members of a church in San Angelo at their monthly meal and fellowship. I began by saying that I am not a public speaker, but that I do have a testimony that I like to share. If you have ever heard me talk, you know that, while I may not be a polished speaker by any stretch of the imagination, I am long-winded. I spoke for about 35 minutes, probably five or ten minutes longer than I intended to. Anyway, as I was walking out when it was all over, an older gentleman and I were talking. He said, "I know you said you were not a public speaker, but..." I was waiting for the compliment to follow. He continued, " I was wondering if you WERE a public speaker how long you would have talked." The grin on his face along with his chuckle told me he was joking with me (even if he might have made a valid point), and I thought it was HILARIOUS! Like I said, I am long-winded.

We are loving retirement so far. I have told several people that I don't know how we ever got anything done when we were both working full-time. The truth is, we didn't. Or, not much, anyway. Being retired has indeed relieved a lot of the pressure we had in our lives. The past few days have been especially significant, the first days back to work after summer break for most school employees; the reality of it is beginning to sink in for Helen. She is very excited about not having to go in.

We were blessed to be able to make an extra trip to San Antonio for a very special purpose this past week. We were told about a "farewell reception" being given for Drs. Mita at CTRC and that patients were welcome to attend. In light of everything those two doctors have done for us and how much they mean to us, there was just no way we could think about not going. While it involved another 600-mile round trip, it was so worth it. We were able to spend quite a bit of time with the Mitas in a "social" setting and talk with them on a personal level. To make things even better, my two side-kicks (the other members of the "Three Whatevers" -- see my post dated May 10, 2010) and their spouses were also there, so we enjoyed several hours with them as well. It was such a great day for us. And while this may be an odd way to look at it, Helen and I felt like this provided a sense of "closure" for us, with our doctors moving away.

We are getting used to being at home a little more since our visits to SA have been spread apart to every four weeks. After going every other week for over two years, it seems like quite a long time in between. Our last three visits to the clinic have been relatively uneventful, with the exception of having our last appointment with Dr. Mita and saying our good-byes to both of them. My neck problem, while unrelated to my cancer, remains a problem. Our doctors at CTRC have told me that I probably should see an orthopedic about it, but I have been putting that off. I guess if the pain gets rough enough, I will do that, but I don't really relish the thought of going to yet another doctor. We did see several friends during our visits, allowing us to catch each other up on how things are going.

We were again reminded a few days ago of how horrible this disease can be when a friend passed away one month after being diagnosed with lung cancer. I cannot even guess how many people we have known who have died from some form or other of it in the past four years. Life is short. Tomorrow is never promised. The Bible says it this way in James 4:14: "...you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

Kinda sad if you look at it that way. But there is more. Jesus made an incredible claim. He said, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in Me will never die (John 11:25-26)." It is the reality of eternal life -- life that never ends. Jesus, when praying to His Father, said, "...this is eternal life: that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent (John 17:3)." How can we know God? "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16)." Knowing God, knowing Jesus Christ, on a personal level, begins when a person realizes that he is a sinner, repents of and confesses his sins, and believes in Jesus Christ, the perfect Son of God, crucified and resurrected, making Him (Jesus) the Lord of his life. That's when knowing God begins. That's when eternal life begins. And it's all free. The price has already been paid.

Blessings and Love,

Kenny

100th post (and counting)...

In this my 100th post, I would like to begin with thanks. First of all, thanks to all who faithfully visit my blog on a regular basis. It is hard to maintain a readership without regularly updating, and in spite of the fact that I have not been really good at that, you have continued to follow and encourage me. One in particular stands out: our friend Virginia. You always have something to say that especially blesses us. Thanks! I know there are others who check here often and, though they may not leave a comment, they have lifted us up to our Father. He has used your prayers to help carry us through many tough times. To those of you who have left comments, you will never know how much your words have meant to us. Many who have stopped to read have just stumbled across this site. We are thankful to have opportunity to share our story of our fight with cancer and God's goodness to those who love Him. And we are so thankful that almost two and a half years after God impressed on me to begin this blog, I am still alive and well enough to keep it going. Praise God!

Day 15 of Cycle 26 began pretty much as usual for a day 15 -- nothing major planned -- just blood work and a visit with the PA before going in the treatment room for a couple of hours to wait for my lab results and then for my drug for today and the next two weeks. However, the problems I have been having with my neck had not gotten much better, prompting my medical team to order an MRI, mainly to make sure there is no presence of cancer anywhere in my neck or brain. They hurriedly scheduled one for me at an imaging center a few blocks away, so we scurried off quickly after our day was over at the clinic. Because they were having to work me in, our wait was pretty long. Having had a headache all day, probably because of my neck pains, I didn't feel well going in for the MRI.

By the time it was done, I felt pretty much traumatized. Keeping my head motionless for an hour and fifteen minutes while in a harness was very hard for me. The inevitable itching and needing to shift intensified until it was over. My right shoulder began to hurt about twenty minutes into the procedure and worsened until the end. Then finally, it was over. Seriously, I'm thinking they may have to knock me out if they want to do another one in the future.

We were both very tired, and I was not feeling well at all, so we decided it would probably be best if we waited until Tuesday to drive home. We made a couple of phone calls and got checked into a nearby motel. Before our retirement, we were forced to go home regardless of how we felt, even after a hard day at the clinic, to be ready to go to work the next morning. Being retired affords us the flexibility to take an extra day for the trip if we need or want to.

After a restful night's sleep, we were preparing to check out when I received a call on my cell phone. We were a little alarmed that caller ID identified the caller as Elizabeth Diaz, my PA. We really didn't expect to hear anything from her until our next visit, or at least until we made it home. She said she had looked over the reports for the scans, and there was no evidence of cancer in either the brain or the neck. However, the problem in my neck was identified as a slipped disc (C5). It was quite a surprise. It's hard to imagine a slipped disc being good news, but we are so aware that the problem could have been much worse, so we will give thanks for that.

Cycle 27 Day 1 on LDE225 would be another CT Scan day. It seems that the eight-week period in between scans passes more quickly every time. Not long after we arrived at the clinic, we were met by some friends who had news for us -- our request to allow us to forego our mid-cycle visits was finally going to be approved! We have been going to San Antonio every other week for over two years. We may not be going back for four weeks?! Hard to imagine! Could it be true? Our research nurse confirmed it: our visits will be scheduled four weeks apart until further notice. All patients who make it to the six-month mark on this drug will only have to go in to the clinic every four weeks. We are excited and looking forward to the possibility of things slowing down a little.

Before we had time to celebrate that bit of news, as if we needed something to offset that, we were also told that our doctors (Drs. Monica and Alain Mita) were going to be leaving San Antonio and moving to California. My first thought at that was to wonder just how they were going to get us to California for our visits. When I found out they would be leaving in early September, I thought that it was nice that they were giving us a couple of months to find a house in LA. I am, of course, joking, but we really HATE the news. We have trusted these two doctors with our very lives for more than four years. They, especially Dr. Monica, have walked us through life-and-death decisions and have treated us with compassion and dignity through some of the most difficult days of our lives. We have grown to love them and now they will be leaving. So we are somewhat bummed about that.

If you have read many of my posts, I hope it is evident to you that our trust is in Jesus. Losing our doctors could leave us with a sense of loss and despair. We are really sad about it, but our hope is in God. Our future is and always has been in His hands. And although this has taken us by surprise, it has not snuck up on God. And His good plan for us has not changed. If I could have my way, I would do things differently; I would make the road smoother and more to my liking. But God's ways are higher and better, and His will for us is always driven by His unfailing love for us. So we will be thankful for that and continue to trust Him.

Not unimportantly, and quite remarkably, my scans showed no changes, no new growths -- stable disease! We can't thank God enough for His mercy and grace in our lives! Every positive report is another reason to celebrate. We are thankful!

God has been so good to us. He continues to be our All-in-All!

God Bless!

God's Grace Rules!

I spent the two weeks prior to this past visit (Day 1 of Cycle 26) trying to not over-exert in an attempt to coax my CK levels back down into acceptable range. I must have done a good job of not doing anything, because, sure enough, my CKs were much lower, well within range. It was not much of a surprise -- we had seen this before. Anyway, we were thankful for the results. Dr. Mita chided me a little and, without really saying it, told me not to be stupid. She has a way of saying things nicely.

My neck had been sore for over two weeks, also a result of over-doing it, so she checked me over pretty good and asked me if I wanted to have an MRI done to see if there was anything going on in there. It occurred to me that I never have anything like that done, if you don't count scans at least every eight weeks over most of the past four years, plus many more in the previous four years as well. So I told her that I thought I would just wait and see if my neck would get better in the next few days. It has been a slow process, but it is getting better a little at a time.

We didn't get any results from the DEXA scans -- again, no surprise. This is one of those protocol scans for this particular study drug with which they measure bone loss periodically as long as I am on LDE225, since bone loss is a probable side-effect of it. I'm sure we will talk about it next visit. Unlike most of the other scans I have, there is no rush on this one, since I can continue on the drug regardless of the results.

June is a month with several "anniversaries" for us. On Tuesday, we will pass the two-year mark being on this drug. Whether God has used it to keep my cancer in check or if He has just miraculously done so, I don't know. My status has been "stable" for more than a year now, for which we are grateful. God's grace rules!

Our ultimate anniversary, we will both celebrate together being married to our best friends for 35 years on the 14th. I can honestly say that I am living a love song with all of the best lyrics combined. And I know the best is yet to come. I can't imagine how it could ever happen to me! God's grace rules!

Four years ago on June 15, Helen and I were told that cancer had spread into both of my lungs. Why do we remember this date and give it any significance? It was very bad news, the last thing we wanted to hear. It had been over four years since the tumor they called a sarcoma had been removed in its entirety from my left forearm. And now, our world was again turned upside-down. Why not try to forget that date? Because every day we wake up, every week we live, every month we share, every year this date rolls around again, we are reminded of how great life is and how wonderful God has been to us and how He has never failed us. He has blessed us beyond our ability to imagine it! And four years later, God's grace rules!

Friday night was graduation night in our town. Graduation ceremonies rank somewhere around IV placements on my preference list. People have heard me say after every graduation ceremony I've been to in the past twenty years that that was the last one I was going to attend (tongue-in-cheek). On Wednesday, I was driving around town and reminded myself of Friday's coming event, thinking, "Oh no, another graduation..." Whether it was the Holy Spirit saying it or Him speaking to my spirit, I don't know, but I said out loud, "You stupid! You know what it means to be at graduation? It means you ain't dead! It means you're still alive!" One of those moments! Lord, help me to never gripe again about having to do something so painless and easy! God's grace rules!

Love and God's Blessings!

Trees and CKs

This past week, Helen and I have been digging up tree stumps, cutting down trees, and trimming trees away from our house (and the house next door). We used muscles that we haven't used in a long time, and I was very sore Monday when we went in for our visit. I told the PA that my blood work might be different this time, because I had strained several muscles. Sure enough, my CK levels were much higher than normal.

CK stands for Creatine kinase. Elevated levels often indicate muscle damage, and it is tested for when trying to determine if a person has had a heart attack or has suffered damage to the heart, brain, or muscle tissue. Every time I have blood work done, CK is tested for, because the drug I am taking could possibly cause muscle damage. If a patient on LDE225 continues to have high CK levels, the patient will be disqualified from taking the drug.

My doctor told me (through my PA) to stop doing strenuous activities until my CK levels get back down to normal. She said it would be OK to continue walking for exercise, but I need to lay off of the hard work. Aw, man! Helen wasn't with me when she came in and told me that, so I asked her to come back and tell Helen she was going to have to quit working me so hard! Doctor's orders!

My next visit will include another DEXA Scan (bone density scan). These come every six months in this clinical trial. It seems like no time since I had my last one. That one revealed some significant bone loss, possibly a side-effect of the drug. We'll see what this one shows.

God continues to bless us beyond our ability to ask or think. We are so undeserving and so thankful. He has been more than faithful to His Word. We continue to trust Him and depend on Him to guide us through our days. God is so good...

At long last - an update!

My apologies to any of you who faithfully read this blog...I have no real excuses for not posting in the past month, unless it is that most of the routines of my life have been disrupted quite a bit lately. I hope you don't decide to boycott it. I will try to do better in the future.

A lot has happened since my last update. The results of the sonagram on my liver and gallbladder were negative. My PA joked that it was unusual for them to not see any masses in my images. The abdominal pains must have been some kind of muscle strain or something. That was good news.

I had CT scans during my last visit. Once again, the images were unchanged. The two areas they are watching have not changed for a year. Stable is very good at this point! We are always relieved when reports come back unchanged. God's mercy and grace continue to sustain us.

In a little over an hour, the annual Relay for Life will begin here with the Cancer Survivors' Lap. Helen and the girls will join me and many others who daily fight the fight against this unrelenting enemy. I will get another survivor T-shirt to go with the six others I have (I collect them!). My goal is to get a lot more!

Thanks to all of you who pray for us and continue to support us continually!

God Bless!

It's been three weeks since my last update...

We have made two trips since my last post. I have found myself quite busy during the past three weeks and have not had the time to write. Quite a bit has happened. My two friends I have alluded to recently have had major developments. Both of them are Christians. One has had surgery to remove a large abdominal tumor. He is trying to recover and is meeting with the doctors this week to see what medical options might be available. Please pray for Allan and his family.

The second has begun conventional chemotherapy treatments to try to slow down the growth of numerous tumors in his abdomen and lungs. Please pray for Bernie and his wife and family as well.

A friend of ours here at home, Les, suffered a terrible accident on his job and ended up having to have a leg amputated just below the knee. While everyone is thankful that his life was spared, the trauma involved such a major injury is life-changing. Please pray for him and his wife and family.

My report pales in comparison to theirs. A couple of weeks ago, I had an episode of abdominal pain that lasted for about four days. After researching the symptoms on-line, I concluded that I was probably having trouble with my gall bladder. I have previously admitted how poor I am at self-diagnosis, but the location of the pain coincides with the location of the gall bladder. Helen wanted to call my research nurse and let her know; the pain subsided, and I talked her into waiting until our appointment to tell my doctor about it.

This visit began a new cycle on LDE225, cycle 24, so we saw Dr. Mita. My blood work didn't show any levels that would indicate a problem with the gall bladder. There was no indication of anything on my scans from four weeks ago either. She ordered an ultrasound exam on my gall bladder and liver to look things over. We will either get a call about the results or will find out the next visit if there is no problem revealed. I guess no news is good news.

We were blessed beyond belief Sunday morning when Stefani demonstrated her new life in Christ by being baptized. She received Christ back in November and made her profession public a few weeks afterwards. What a change has occurred in her life! Our girls walking with the Lord has been the greatest thing that could have happened in our lives. We have been so blessed!

One more thing...I am retiring from my job at the end of the month after 35 years. Helen has already left her job, and we will be retiring together. We are very excited and looking forward to it. Everyone is asking what we will be doing, where we will be going. We have so many projects to do around the house that should keep us busy for years. We want to travel some as well (to places other than San Antonio). We are thankful for God's grace and mercy in our lives. He has been so good to us.

Love and blessings...

The WWFL

The Wilenchik 5K Walk for Life was held last Saturday in Schertz. We were excited about the forecast temperature for the event -- the overnight low was supposed to be about 60, which meant that around 7:00 AM, it should be just about right for the walk. I don't know how we missed the part about high winds in the forecast, but we did. Let's just put it this way -- I don't know if we've seen the wind blow like that in San Antonio. And to make matters worse, none of us had taken heavy jackets on the trip. What were we thinking in the middle of winter?

Anyway, there was rain in the forecast also, but I had been told that the walk was going to go on -- rain or shine. And it did. We have still not heard the official count yet, but there had to be about three hundred participants there. I had a twelve minute talk prepared, but after seeing how cold and restless everyone was during Dr. Thompson's short welcome, I decided that there was no way I was going to ask them to be still and listen for even ten more minutes. So I tucked my notes inside my jacket. I had already asked God if He didn't want me to use them, to somehow let me know. He would have to give me the words. The wind was whipping so hard that I would not have been able to hold both my notes and the mic anyway.

The wind did give me a nice introduction. I told them that being from West Texas, we felt right at home. I don't even remember much of what I said, just that I really have been blessed by God and the people at CTRC. I pray that God will receive all the glory.

The 5K walk sure felt like a long way! Man, it seemed like a mile! Seriously, the walk was a little over a mile and a half up one side of the main street and then back. It worked out pretty nicely, because the first half we walked against the wind, and the second half the wind pushed us from behind. By the time we finished, we were not cold any more. But the amazing thing was that only ten minutes after the last walkers finished, it started pouring down cold rain. How awesome is that?!

Anyway, we all thoroughly enjoyed it. Helen's sister and niece joined the four of us, and it was a real blessing to be able to participate. And it was a real honor and privilege to be asked to speak.

I will let you all know how much money was raised when we find out. Thanks for your prayers and support.

God Bless

5:53

I don't know why I woke up with a sense of dread Monday morning, but I did. This was a scan day, but even on scan days I'm pretty much OK. And there was no reason to fear more than any other scan day. I had not slept well, but nothing really out of the ordinary had been going on, with the exception of a few dizzy spells and a four-pound weight loss over four weeks. But still, I felt unusually down when our atomic travel alarm awakened us. I had set it for 6:20, knowing that I would have to begin drinking the barium "smoothies" two hours before my scheduled 8:30 scan time. We were planning to leave for CTRC by 7:00, so we needed to get moving.

Helen dragged herself to the restroom to begin getting ready, and I descended downstairs to the kitchen where those wonderful banana drinks were waiting for me in the fridge. As I finally got through the human-proof lid and began sipping, I noticed the kitchen clock read 5:30. That clock had almost caused us to be late our last trip to the clinic because it was running behind. I thought to myself, "Boy, it's really running late now; I wonder why they don't either fix it or take it down?"

Without another thought about it, I began hauling our luggage and other stuff downstairs to put in the car. I remarked to Helen that I was surprised that no one else in the house was up yet. I stopped back in the kitchen to take a few more swigs and noticed a flashing red light on the coffee maker. I walked over to it and noticed that the clock on it read 5:53. Now a bit confused, I reached into my pocket and checked my phone for the time, and it read--you guessed it--5:53. You're kidding me! We're an hour early?! I could have slept another hour?! I thought I had better break the news to Helen. I made my way toward the stairs.

Meanwhile, back at the restroom, Helen had picked up her phone to see what time it was. It was 5:53. Going downstairs to tell me, she met me on my way up. We both said to each other, "Guess what time it is..." It could have been straight from the set of I Love Lucy. We both cracked up. And just like that, I no longer felt stressed, the tension was lifted, and everything was so much better.

I had to say, "Thanks, God. I needed that. That was a good one!"

I still don't understand how the clock was mysteriously changed to the eastern time zone. To change it back, I had to open the battery cover and push a button. It was one of those things we just call a God Thing. He always knows what's going on, how we feel, what's ahead for each of us, and just what we need and when we need it.

Our day at CTRC was quite a long one. We arrived about an hour early for some reason, so we both took a 15-minute nap in the car before checking in. While lying on the uncomfortable scan table and looking up at that expensive piece of equipment, I thought about how crazy it is how that harmless looking machine can change your life. You either get good news or bad news based on what that scanner reveals. It can be disheartening until you look at the real picture. "When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply till I entered the sanctuary of God..." (Psalm 73:16-17) We know Who controls that machine. I never slide in and out of it without acknowledging that God is in total control of the outcome. We can leave it up to Him and not worry about it.

Anyway, they were having trouble with their computers, so they were having to enter data by hand. This always means a longer wait for the results. When Dr. Mita finally saw us, she said the scans remained unchanged. Great news! There have been essentially no changes since after my last surgery in June. "O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy endures forever."

I have been presented with an opportunity this Saturday to speak about my story at a cancer walk. The Wilenchik 5K Walk for Life is an annual fundraiser in Schertz named after a cancer patient we met at CTRC about three years ago. He has since passed away, but the benefit continues each year, with all of the proceeds going to CTRC. I will be given about ten or fifteen minutes to say what's on my heart. I am honored and excited about it, but I will also be scared, so I ask for your prayers. I have asked the Lord throughout this experience to use me for His glory, and I believe He is giving me a chance to do just that. I pray that someone will hear something that will help them.

God's Blessings and Love

DON'T MESS AROUND WITH IT!!

It was on February 2, 2003 when I first went to see about the painful "lump" on my left forearm. It was actually the first time I had really genuinely considered the possibility that it might be something serious. By this time, it was really more than a lump. But, not unlike many of us who think it can't or won't happen to us, I had convinced myself that it was another lipoma, a relatively common and harmless mass of fatty tissue. After all, I had several others, and had even seen a doctor about one probably two decades before. So I had discounted this one as the same, ignoring the fact that it was painful and continuing to grow and even interfering with some muscular functions. It was a classic case of being in denial. It was because of my family's insistence that I gave in after repeatedly putting it off and made an appointment to see about it.

Even heading into the doctor's office, I still felt no real fear about it. That, however, was about to change. After a quick examination of the arm, I immediately sensed a sobering urgency as the doctor wasted no time in ordering x-rays. Suddenly, for the first time, it occurred to me that this growth in my arm just below my elbow really might be something like cancer. This was the moment of truth for me. And it was terrifying. There in the radiology waiting area, unbeknown to my wife, my mind was flooded by thoughts and fears. A question dominated my thoughts, appearing over and over and drowning out everything else -- "Young man, if this turns out to be cancer, just how are you going to apologize to your family for not seeing about this earlier?" I can only imagine what Helen was going through at the same time.

The next couple of weeks were a blur of activity -- scheduling, traveling, appointments, scans, biopsies, more appointments --and, as they say, the rest is history. Our battle with cancer had begun. Living in the world of cancer and being around hundreds of people touched by it, I have learned many things about cancer and life since that day. One is blatantly obvious to me. It is more than a slogan: Early detection is so important. Men are notorious for being "too strong" to see a doctor. Most of us live in denial and think we are immune to such things. I never went to the doctor about anything unless I had no other choice. It could have cost me my life. I waited way too long to see about my arm. Go see about that lump. Find out about that unexplainable pain. Don't mess around with it. Do it now. Do it for the ones you love.

Brrr!!!

It's OK...winter's almost over. Punxsatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, so winter's almost done! I feel better. Hasn't it been crazy cold?! Here in West Texas, it finally made it above freezing after about 80 hours of sub-freezing temperatures. This "monster storm" has served to remind me how glad I am that I don't live any farther to the north than I do.

I left work early yesterday with a fever that was accompanied by a headache, body ache and sore throat. I don't know if it was just from working out in the cold for two days or something else, but I stayed home from work today and slept until after lunch. I should be doubly protected from the flu, since I took the flu shot in October and then a course of Tamiflu last month. Anyway, I feel a little better now, but not a lot better. We'll see how it's going tomorrow...

Monday's visit marked the beginning of Cycle 22 on this drug. We hoped our stuff at the clinic would move fast so that we could get out of town as quickly as possible and try to beat the cold front home. It went smoothly, and we got a pretty good jump on the weather. On the way home, we watched the swing from 78˚ to 38˚ in a very short period of time. It was apparent that it was going to be quite a wintry blast.

February has several dates with significance to me. I'll go into some detail about it later...

We are continually thankful for all of the support we have from our friends and family. We love all of you...

The clinic was closed on MLK day...

... so our week was a little different than normal. Instead of leaving for SA on Sunday, we stayed home on Sunday and left on Monday. The highlight of our week (and month and year and...) was Stefani making her profession of faith public on Sunday morning. God has really been working in both of our daughters' lives. We are so excited to see what He is doing. Oh, how He loves us!

Tuesday was another vanilla day, however busy. There were many more patients in because of the holiday, but taking that into consideration, it still wasn't too long a day. I thought I might be in big trouble, because somehow, some way I had lost the last four days' pills. I don't think the dogs ate them and the girls swore they didn't sell them, so we don't know what happened to them. After turning the house upside down for three days, we still didn't find them. They are probably in the same place as all of those Christmas presents we bought early and hid and then forgot where we put them.

My weight has stabilized now. Every time I go I have either gained or lost a pound or less. My taste is probably about 80% normal now, which is wonderful. Outside of feeling tired most of the time, I am feeling good. God has been so merciful to us. We are so thankful for His blessings in our lives.

Please continue to pray for our two friends. One is recovering from surgery, the other has an appointment with his surgeon on Thursday. Both seem to be at serious stages in their situations.

God Bless...

It happens every eight weeks.

CT scans. The days seem to fly by in between. Scan days are always tougher for a number of reasons. The barium “smoothies” (ugh) must be started two hours before the scheduled time for scans. We usually have to begin early and stay late at the clinic, as scans must be read and results revealed before we see the doctor or get into the treatment room. There is always a sense of urgency, even if we’re not really worried about the results. It’s just that there is so much riding on what this fifteen minute test reveals. And we know that things can change so quickly and often without warning. It doesn’t really get any easier. Some things about it kind of become more automatic, but it is still a scan day. We are reminded that our lives are truly in God’s hands.

CT scans are almost painless. Aside from the horrible experience of the “smoothies,” the only real pain occurs when the IV for the dye, or contrast, is started. The actual scanning only takes a few minutes (unlike the PET Scan and MRI). Following a couple of passes through the doughnut-shaped scanner, the dye is power-injected and a couple of more passes are completed. The power-injection enables the contrast to move through the body in a few seconds, and is accompanied by a crazy warm feeling internally that begins at the mouth and moves down to the pelvis. If the technician had not forewarned me the first time about this sensation, I would have thought something had gone terribly wrong. (I wonder if this was what it may feel like to be poisoned.) The images produced by CT could be compared to looking into a loaf of bread by cutting the loaf into thin slices, and often are used for monitoring tumor sizes and gauging success or failure of cancer treatments.

Anyway, we are fortunate in that we are made aware of the results within a matter of a couple of hours. Anyone who has had scans knows that waiting for the results can often be traumatic, so for us the waiting is almost a non-factor. After the triage nurse took what seemed to be almost all of my blood for labs, we were moved into the doctor’s waiting room pretty quickly this time. Dr. Mita came in shortly and said that everything on the scans was unchanged. No new masses and no growth. Praise the Lord!

Unfortunately, many patients don’t receive good news. Two of our close friends at the clinic have both received bad news in the past month about their scans. One will be having major surgery next week to have more tumors removed; the other will be seeing the surgeon tomorrow to discuss whether or not surgery is an option. Please pray for these two. They are at critical points in each of their fights.

We appreciate so much the support from our friends and families.