DON'T MESS AROUND WITH IT!!

It was on February 2, 2003 when I first went to see about the painful "lump" on my left forearm. It was actually the first time I had really genuinely considered the possibility that it might be something serious. By this time, it was really more than a lump. But, not unlike many of us who think it can't or won't happen to us, I had convinced myself that it was another lipoma, a relatively common and harmless mass of fatty tissue. After all, I had several others, and had even seen a doctor about one probably two decades before. So I had discounted this one as the same, ignoring the fact that it was painful and continuing to grow and even interfering with some muscular functions. It was a classic case of being in denial. It was because of my family's insistence that I gave in after repeatedly putting it off and made an appointment to see about it.

Even heading into the doctor's office, I still felt no real fear about it. That, however, was about to change. After a quick examination of the arm, I immediately sensed a sobering urgency as the doctor wasted no time in ordering x-rays. Suddenly, for the first time, it occurred to me that this growth in my arm just below my elbow really might be something like cancer. This was the moment of truth for me. And it was terrifying. There in the radiology waiting area, unbeknown to my wife, my mind was flooded by thoughts and fears. A question dominated my thoughts, appearing over and over and drowning out everything else -- "Young man, if this turns out to be cancer, just how are you going to apologize to your family for not seeing about this earlier?" I can only imagine what Helen was going through at the same time.

The next couple of weeks were a blur of activity -- scheduling, traveling, appointments, scans, biopsies, more appointments --and, as they say, the rest is history. Our battle with cancer had begun. Living in the world of cancer and being around hundreds of people touched by it, I have learned many things about cancer and life since that day. One is blatantly obvious to me. It is more than a slogan: Early detection is so important. Men are notorious for being "too strong" to see a doctor. Most of us live in denial and think we are immune to such things. I never went to the doctor about anything unless I had no other choice. It could have cost me my life. I waited way too long to see about my arm. Go see about that lump. Find out about that unexplainable pain. Don't mess around with it. Do it now. Do it for the ones you love.

Brrr!!!

It's OK...winter's almost over. Punxsatawney Phil didn't see his shadow, so winter's almost done! I feel better. Hasn't it been crazy cold?! Here in West Texas, it finally made it above freezing after about 80 hours of sub-freezing temperatures. This "monster storm" has served to remind me how glad I am that I don't live any farther to the north than I do.

I left work early yesterday with a fever that was accompanied by a headache, body ache and sore throat. I don't know if it was just from working out in the cold for two days or something else, but I stayed home from work today and slept until after lunch. I should be doubly protected from the flu, since I took the flu shot in October and then a course of Tamiflu last month. Anyway, I feel a little better now, but not a lot better. We'll see how it's going tomorrow...

Monday's visit marked the beginning of Cycle 22 on this drug. We hoped our stuff at the clinic would move fast so that we could get out of town as quickly as possible and try to beat the cold front home. It went smoothly, and we got a pretty good jump on the weather. On the way home, we watched the swing from 78˚ to 38˚ in a very short period of time. It was apparent that it was going to be quite a wintry blast.

February has several dates with significance to me. I'll go into some detail about it later...

We are continually thankful for all of the support we have from our friends and family. We love all of you...