I couldn't think of a title for this one

We awakened this morning to a chilly and wet San Antonio. The drive to CTRC took about 45 minutes, as traffic on the slick streets moved much slower. There were fewer patients around our part of the clinic for a Monday, so things went relatively quickly.

Dr. Mita was away for the week, so after the routine stuff we met with her assistant, Elizabeth. We had hoped to talk about options and details today, but she wasn't prepared to do so. She said that Dr. Mita had set up an appointment for us to see a thoracic surgeon some time this week to discuss surgical options, if any. That appointment is set with Dr. DeArmand for Thursday at 1:30 here at CTRC. In the meantime, I will continue to take the drug LDE225.

A few days ago it occurred to us that we had not asked just how close the largest tumor was to the heart, nor had we looked at any of our scans lately. So we asked if we could see the images from the most recent CT scans taken two weeks ago. Elizabeth was happy to show them to us, but explained that reading images was not her forte, so she might not be much help in interpreting what was on the screen. She was able to identify most of what was there, enough at least so we could make out the organs and the most easily identifiable tumors. We were surprised at how close the largest one was to the aorta, the large artery that carries blood away from the heart. To our untrained eyes, it looked like the tumor was virtually touching it, with no apparent gap in between.

Our initial impression was that there is not enough room there for surgery. But then we came to the conclusion that there would be no point in having an appointment with the surgeon if surgery would not be an option. If you have ever been in a situation like ours, you understand how your thought process can go every which way as you try to play doctor or draw conclusions based on just enough knowledge to be dangerous. We are glad that God is in control and we don't have to make things happen that need to happen. We can trust Him for that.

I guess it was a result of a two-week long build-up of tension and apprehension followed by a sudden let-down we had after the appointment today. But both of us "hit the wall." Almost instantly, we both felt totally spent. We decided to go back to the house to relax and clear our heads before determining whether to drive back home or not. Ultimately, we chose to stay here through Thursday. This way we will only have to drive 300 miles in the next few days, not 900.

We are so thankful for all of the support we have. It is such an incredible blessing to have such a great place to stay here with Janis and Don, Helen's sister and brother-in-law. Prayers are being lifted up in our behalf all over this land. God has met all of our needs, as He promised to, and He has used many of you to do so. We don't know how we would do it without God and our family in the faith. Thanks for all you do and have done.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13